Dear Gunner

Unofficially brought to you by ms paint

South By SouthSouth

Dear Julie, 

This weekend, DJ Griff and I went to Nashville! We bought each other hats and I ate a ton of BBQ sauce!

Also we played with his dog, Grapes! Grapes has the heart of a lion, the beard of an old man, and the capacity for logic of a Fun Size Twix bar (Grapes is perfect!). 

Everyone was so, so nice. How was your trip?

love carley

ps: also, we saw an owl…IN THE DAY TIME SO YEAH I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THINGS ARE PRETTY BACKWARDS DOWN THERE. 

B-)

Dear Julie, 

Oh, MAN—I feel like the luckiest dude! My friends made the sweetest day for my birthday! I went cliff jumping and drank hot champagne out of a plastic cup and ate a ton of cakes and chips for dinner! ALSO, I just saw a ten year old wearing a three piece, all-white tuxedo!

Two days in, and I’ve crossed every last item off my “I’m 26 Now” bucket list. 

No offense, but I love my friends a buttload. 

love carley

Vampire Weekend

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Dear Julie, 

The other day Ronnie, the hibachi chef, cut my hair in a stairwell while we watched a Filipino soap opera. It was in Tagalog, but I think it was about vampires?

…like, young, boy vampires who were getting bullied at school? and there was something weird with their Dad (and it wasn’t just that he was always working and it seemed like he’s putting his career ahead of his family and losing sight of why he took this job in the first place)?

Anyway, it was great!

feelin’ fre$h, 

love carley

Boop Boop Boop Boop Boop Boop Boop Boop Poker Face

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Dear Julie,

Last night I played poker! Greg earned a lot of money, Norm brought us Goldfish, and Leland continued to push his feminist agenda (give it a rest, already!). I didn’t win, but I did have fun and also did one cool magic trick!

love carley

Just Like, How Frowned Upon is McCarthyism?

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Dear Julie,

After watching the same episode of Downton Abbey on CrewTV a bunch, I think that Sybil and Mary are okay, but Michael Cera’s character is up to something. No one can be THAT aloof and pointless unless they’re also a bank robber or a traitor or a bad guy.

I mean, am I crazy?!

love carley 

Take Me Down to the Goblin City Where The Grass is Green and the Girls are Stuck in A Labyrinth

Dear Julie,

I don’t know if it’s the antibiotics talkin’ or the contact high I got from watching it, but David Bowie’s Labyrinth is perfect.

Do people know this movie was made?! How did they do it! Who pitched this movie and who paid for it! IT IS GREAT AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THAT.

Anyway, still sick but eating lots of soup and having some real breakthroughs re: 20th century auteur theory.

love carley

Substance Abuse

Dear Julie,

Yesterday Greg and Tab and I drank wine from a carafe shaped like a chicken, and then I tried limoncello. Have you ever had this? It is melted, vodka-soaked Warheads, and it is very good!

Then I drank nine hundred packets of sugar with a splash of coffee on top because I never want the sensation of my brain being decimated by a firestorm to stop.

Now it is very windy!

love carley  

NOW I WILL KIDNAP YOU

Dear Julie, 

I got too excited about your visit and then I blacked out.

YAHT.ZEE. 

love carley

One of These Things C’est N’est Pas Like the Others

Dear Julie,

Today I did yoga!

The instructor looked like a Vidal Sasoon model, Sean, Christie, and Spencer looked like Broadway dancers (UHHH, CUZ THEY ARE), and I looked like the Little Prince, if the Little Prince had been taught to walk/balance by a very small, very dumb animal. 

In OTHER great news, the Garden Café has started serving chocolate chip cookies as early as four pm!

Victories across the board,

love carley 

DIY-Fi

Dear Julie,

Today was the ship’s first birthday! To celebrate, nothing went as planned and very little information was conveyed. John and Jamison watched me drink too many mochas and I invented a traveling internet café using only a coffee mug and my iPhone!

My brain is on fire now! Goodbye!

love carley